Here's volume 3 of the Abbott and Costello show

Recently my friend Jim was bemoaning the fact that he had ordered the season 1 DVD release of the Abbott and Costello show, and shipment was being delayed. He started to read me some of the episode synopsis' to see which ones I remembered. Some of them were quite amusing. That lead us to begin thinking what would some of the lost episodes of the Abbott and Costello show be about. After a few days of trying to top each other here are some of the missing (updated) episodes we would like to see. I apologize in advance if anyone is offended by them.

1. Facing eviction when the rent is due, Mr. Fields suggest Bud and Lou earn some extra cash by working as a pimp for Hillary Brooks. Hilarity ensues.
   
2. Bud arrives home and discovers Lou has locked himself in the closet. Hillary overhears the conversation and thinks Lou has, "come out of the closet". Hilarity ensues.
   
3. Stinky accuses Lou of child abuse. Hilarity ensues.
   
4. Lou signs up for dance lessons after misinterpreting Hillary's invitation to attend a "swing" party with her. Hilarity ensues.
   
5. Arriving home early from work, Bud discovers Lou in bed with a goat. Hilarity ensues.
   
6. Facing eviction when the rent is due, Mr. Fields suggest Bud and Lou earn some extra cash by selling crack. When their first customer turns out to be an undercover Mike the cop, hilarity ensues.
   
7. While cleaning the basement Lou stumbles upon Mr. Fields porn collection. Hilarity ensues.
   
8. Lou accidentally discovers that Hillary is a dominatrix. Hilarity ensues.
   
9. While waiting for a delivery of vitamins for Lou's pet chimp Bingo the delivery boy drops off Mr. Field's Viagra by mistake. Lou gives them to Bingo just as Hillary Brook is stopping over for a visit. Hilarity ensues.

Please feel free to use the comment link below and suggest some of your own. Just try to keep them as mildly offensive as ours.